Spock is sexy and no one can tell me otherwise
Photo by Wonderlane on Unsplash
Author’s Note: An earlier version of this essay, posted ten years ago, exists on this blog, and was even referenced in the Washington Post, but times have changed and it has been updated to be more inclusive and gender neutral in its language and modified to reflect the times. I have left the original up if you would like to compare.
The second season of Strange New Worlds, featuring Ethan Peck’s oh-so-emo interpretation of our classic Trek icon Mr. Spock, is streaming on Paramount + right now and the episodes so far have been pretty good. This show has almost singlehandedly restored my faith in modern Star Trek (as did season 3 of Picard) and is a lot of fun to watch.
My favorite episode of season 1 of Strange New Worlds was episode 5, Spock Amok. Probably because of all of the callbacks to the original series, such as the fight music from Amok Time, T’Pring’s silver wedding attire, and those odd Vulcan lirpas. And it was funny. Star Trek had found its humor again.
As I watched, I found myself revisiting an old argument with my spouse. He thinks I’m crazy because I find Spock sexy no matter who plays him. My spouse thinks I have poor taste (ironic) because he can’t fathom that people find Spock to be an object of desire.
He argues that no one would be attracted to an emotionally unavailable (but not all the time as many a Trek fan knows) and coldly logical Vulcan.
For my spouse, it’s inconceivable that anyone would ever want to cozy up to this statistic-spouting, pointy-eared, first officer from Star Trek. I accepted his unspoken challenge to address this issue because I know him to be very wrong.
Let’s be clear from the outset, Spock’s extreme intelligence is most seductive. Spock fans of all genders love a genius. Since sex begins in the mind, a man with an impressive and highly cultivated intellect is very erotic.
Spock can assess a situation faster than anyone in the room (because he’s a bit like a Vulcan Sherlock Holmes that way), and can quite possibly work out all manner of solutions for any problems you may encounter.
He’s handy to have around. Sure, he lacks Star Trek TOS Kirk’s dashing charisma and sheer chutzpah for attempting feats of simple bravado when in a pickle, but he has a cunning and calculating manner that’s not always typical of a Vulcan. That makes him a different brand of daring in adventures.
Forget the xenophobia that a Vulcan-Human hybrid triggers in the original Star Trek series, he’s good for siring offspring. Sometimes that simple fact is enough to get fans who can have babies into a Spock-obsessed lather.
Let’s not forget that Spock, in any on-screen portrayal, is quite fit. He’s lanky and lean. Sure, Nimoy’s Spock doesn’t have the broad-shouldered look of TOS Kirk or the modest guns, but he’s lithe and slinky like the cat that he is.
Not unlike Kirk, this is a man who always lands on his feet. Even when he dies, death has no dominion over him; he simply bounces back.
He’s the original death-defying companion before any existed on Modern Doctor Who. Kill him if you like, but he’s twenty paces ahead of you with an escape plan.
We mustn’t forget the eyebrows or the ears though, as they are oddly erotic in an elfin way. They’re almost delightfully devilish, and those of us attracted to men do love a bad boy, at least when we’re young, before we know better.
What else lures Trekkies to Spock? He’s a withholding bastard. Yes, I said it. Sometimes, man-loving folks get off on that. Though we should know better, we fall for this act quite often. Why?
Maybe it’s the side effect of a bad childhood; maybe he reminds us of an emotionally reserved father or a distant, detached mother. His demeanor is familiar to us, or maybe it’s simply because some of us just love a project.
We know from watching any Star Trek series or film that Spock has been featured in, that his Vulcan veneer sometimes cracks. He is half human after all and cannot always maintain his steely persona.
He has wept for his mother. He has loved human/humanoid women. He has gone through Pon Farr, and in his sped-up Genesis rebirth, weathered it with Saavik.
Seriously, what did you people think they were doing?
So Spock-smitten fans fantasize that they can bring out these loving moments from him. They endlessly write self-insert fanfics where they Mary Sue themselves into a character who worms their way into applying a sexy balm to Spock’s tortured emotional wounds.
They long to be the one to elicit a simple whimsical raise of his eyebrow at something they’ve said, which would be enough to send them into fits of ecstasy and delight and keep them riding high for weeks.
When Spock fans first watched JJ. Abrams’ Apple store version of Star Trek, they “squeed” upon seeing their usually so reserved Spock mack on Uhura after all these years.
Don’t underestimate the Spock-smitten though. They soon imagined setting a phaser to stun, dispatching Uhura, and taking over where she left off.
Spock on Discovery was a much more emotive Spock but he was still wrestling with social trauma from his unforgiving childhood on Vulcan. This newer, brooding, moody Spock is perhaps more accessible for younger generations not used to an aloof imp.
He’s still sexy though, and Strange New Worlds has brought all of us Spock superfans what we really wanted in New Trek; more Spock.
Over time, the Spock-smitten may settle down with a real, live partner and let go of some of their fascination with the Vulcan, but if you look closely, you’ll understand that they’ve not gone too far afield.
Their life companion, like mine, will be much like Spock; extremely smart, have trouble showing their emotions, and be able to quickly think up a solution for your problems every time.
And if they know what is good for them, they will sit down and watch Spock on Strange New Worlds season 2 with you.
Deep Fried Sci-Fi 